Sorry...

I've been kinda in a slum lately. Wrecked! really. After Sunday's humiliation I have struggled to hold my head up... you remember the Scripture reading catastrophe and the joke that went no where? Yeah... me too!!! Seriously though, I thank God for these times where I just look goofy because it reminds me in a small way that I do not have it all together. I'm not even close!!! And though am sure to always be remembered at Grace as the dancing goofball (thanks to Makayla's phone that SHE SHOULD HAVE TURNED OFF BEFORE CHURCH... JK) I am sure there will be many more humiliating moments to come.

I've spent my life trying to avoid awkward situations... it's not workin' out to well.

Veggie Tales

We (ENGAGE) are going to see Veggie Tales: The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything tomorrow after church. I haven't really watched Veggie Tales since they first came out but I have a deeper appreciation for VT now that we have Glory. Anyway, I am looking forward to spending time with my friends and watching a silly movie together. If you happen to read this tonight and are a student who is going with us, go to www.engagegrace.com and download the Parental Consent form under the GOINGS ON tab.

I AM A BANANA!!!

Ninja Turtles

Tonight my friend Kayleigh was wearing a ninja turtle hoodie and it reminded me of this story. When I was a kid I LLLOOOOVVVEEEDDD Ninja Turtles. I had every cartoon known to man and actually watched the movie (the first one.. of course) in the theater (my fam didn't go to the movies much). So anyway, one night we were in WalMart and the lady on the loud speaker said that if anyone knew what Michaelangelo's (how do you spell that?) first words were (in the movie... not real life) that they would win a gift certificate and I won. (His first words were Pizza... PIZZA.) It was the first time that I won anything (out of two... Bon Jovi Tickets was the other). I bought Raphael's swords with it. IT WAS SO EXCITING!!!

I used them to kill a Power Ranger.

First Vid Blog

Captain Crazy Face.

engagegrace.com vid

What do you think???

The only time I was in trouble in High School...

My friends and I jacked up our other friend's car and took a tire off of it. Then we put a stray dog that stayed around the school in it with a sombrero on its head (found in the car) and took pictures of all of it with the other friend's camera (which just so happened to also be in her car). Needless to say our principal was not happy when he received a call at 2 AM when the volleyball girls arrived back at the school.

Never, ever do this.

Glory's Day

Today is Glory's 1st birthday. She has grown so much this year. Last year at this time I was trying to get comfortable in a hospital chair bed... not happening... I'm fat and sassy.

Happy birthday Glory!!!

There are doubters among us

Be assured that the stories that are told on this blog really happened and only the most unbelievable parts should not be believed. For instance: Patty is not some random leprechaun, I have known Patty for years. Be assured that I could not make this junk up and that the actual experiences truly happened. That being said...

...my first two semesters of college were paid for because I was in show choir.

Please don't hold that against me.

Ninja fight or hanging light?

One time at choir camp (yes, I went to choir camp... quit laughing)...

Leigh had a crush on me and I asked her friend (not her) to the dance.

I didn't know.

Chicken Man?

I've always heard, "you are what you eat." Based on this I think that I am at least in part, a chicken. If you have ever noticed I am shaped much like a chicken: very skinny legs leading up to a very round chicken belly. I do not have any feathers that I know of but I have been known to randomly cluck from time to time.

I call it chickenitis.

Faster than a speeding sloth...

Once in junior high my track coach made me run the 400. Now I am not sure how much you know about track and field but that is an entire lap around the track (and guys who are good stride/sprint the whole thing). Needless to say I was not very happy with my track coach. So I decided to do what any normal guy that despised running and only wanted to do the triple jump would do... I jogged it!!! I'm not talking about a hearty jog that gets your heart-rate going, I'm talking about and fast walk with a little hop in it. I was so slow that the announcer literally had to ask people to clear the track because there was still a runner. I put the icing on the cake I did a beauty-queen wave the entire time I was in front of the bleachers. My coach was not happy (at least that made two of us).

I was a terrible kid!!!

Have you ever done anything like this?

Stacker

I can beat stacker!!!

Can You?

When I Die...

I have come up with the perfect solution to a funeral... I won't have one. Instead I would like to be dressed in a astronaut suit (Russian) and dropped from a really high flying plane over a neighborhood. I want a map of the United States in my hand with red x's on all the places the news tells you would be prime targets and code written all over it. When the descrambled the code it would simply say: "Why did you spend so much time decoding this worthless message?"

Is this too much to ask?

My Middle Name is...

Richmond (for real)... that is all.

What is your middle name?

Death by dryer.

From time to time my brother Jody liked to help me with my ninja training. I learned to do tight flips by curling up inside a dryer tub (the metal part inside your dryer) and letting him push me down a hill. One day when it was raining we decided to try the real dryer. My brother would basically hold the button with the door open and I would flip and flip. It was a crucial part of my cannonball attack training. Unfortunently my mother drove up as we were training (she never approved of such trivial things as ninja training). She thought that I should be spending my time doing more important things such as pottery or crocheting. Now, instead of telling me what was going on he simply shut the door and turned it on. As I was flopping and gasping for breath I managed one last thunder elbow to the door and popped it open. My mother hapened to be standing right in front of the door at that point. Needless to say I was turning pots for a month.

Has this ever happened to you?